Chapter 3: Beyond Religion

“How do I know which one?”

That was the question once asked of me by a person I was visiting in prison. He told me there are “churches” in here. “How do I know which one?”

It’s a question many people ask—maybe you’re asking it right now. With so many denominations, so many churches, so many variations, how do you know which is right?

The better question is this: “Do you want a relationship with God?”

Not, “Which religion should I choose?”

You’re putting the cart before the horse. The first question really is: Do you want to know God?

Because if the answer to that question is yes, everything else finds its proper place over the course of time. Religion becomes a vehicle, not the destination. The structure you choose matters less than the relationship you’re pursuing.

Designed for Relationship

Here’s what I believe: God created us and desires a personal relationship with each of us. He’s ensured enough information is available through the Bible, and He provides the dynamic power of the Holy Spirit to guide us on that path.

But it’s more than that. He didn’t just make relationship possible—He designed us specifically for it.

Remember my story of being in crisis and feeling pre-programmed to cry out to God? You know that restlessness inside you? The natural default response in a moment of crisis? That sense that there must be more to life than this? That emptiness that success, relationships, achievements, pleasures can’t quite fill.

That’s not a flaw. That’s by design.

You were made with a God-shaped space in your heart that only God can fill. Everyone has it. Everyone feels the pull, whether they recognize it or not. Some try to fill it with religion. Some try to fill it with success, pleasure, relationships, accomplishments, or other excesses. But nothing quite fits except the One who made the space.

This is why you can have everything the world says should make you happy and still feel like something’s missing. It’s why people at the top of their game, with every material advantage, still search for meaning. It’s why ancient philosophers and modern seekers keep asking the same fundamental questions about purpose and existence.

The longing isn’t the problem. The longing is the invitation.

God is pursuing you. He’s always been pursuing you. And that internal sense that “there must be more”—that's Him calling you home.

So if God designed us for relationship with Him, what does He actually want from us?

Here’s one of the most important verses in the Bible for understanding this:

Hosea 6:6: “For I desire mercy, and not sacrifice, and the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.”

Read that again. God is saying through the prophet Hosea: “I don't want your religious performances. I want your heart. I want relationship, not ritual.”

This wasn’t a one-time message, either. It’s the central message. Centuries later, Jesus quotes this exact passage twice when confronting religious leaders who had turned faith into a performance:

Matthew 9:13: “Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Matthew 12:7: “If only you had known the meaning of ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent.”

That’s not a coincidence. That’s the point.

God doesn’t want your religious résumé. He doesn’t want your list of good deeds, your church attendance record, your moral superiority, or your perfectly followed rules.

He wants you.

The real you. The broken, searching, honest you. Because relationship can’t exist with pretense. It requires authenticity.

Jesus Settles It

Here’s the moment Jesus put an exclamation point on this issue. The religious leaders are trying to trap him with a theological question:

Matthew 22:34-40:

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Notice who’s asking: the Pharisees—strict in their observance of the law, self-righteous, hypocritical. They’re trying to trap Jesus. Of all the hundreds of rules in the Law, which is the greatest? It’s a setup—answer wrong and you undermine the entire system.

But Jesus doesn’t fall for it. He cuts through their complex tapestry of rules and attempted deception with profound clarity and simplicity:

Love God. Love people. Period.

Everything hangs on these two commandments. Put God first, and express that by loving other people. All the other rules and regulations hinge on that simple principle.

That’s it. That’s what God wants.

Not perfect church attendance. Not flawless rule-keeping. Not religious performance.

He wants your heart expressed through love.

Let me show you the difference between religion and relationship by comparing two approaches:

Rules-Based Approach (Religion):

·       Focus on behavior modification

·       External compliance matters most

·       Righteousness comes from what you do

·       Fear of punishment motivates obedience

·       Success is measured by rule-keeping

·       Comparison to others is inevitable

·       Failure brings shame and condemnation

Relationship-Based Approach (What God Offers):

·       Focus on heart transformation

·       Internal reality matters most

·       Righteousness comes from what God does

·     Love and gratitude motivate obedience—as a response to God’s grace

·       Success is measured by growing intimacy with God

·       Comparison is irrelevant—it’s between you and God

·       Failure brings grace and opportunity to grow

See the difference? One is exhausting and ultimately hopeless. The other is life-giving and full of possibility.

Religion asks, “Are you good enough?”

Relationship asks, “Knowing how much you are loved, how do you want to respond?”

Religion as Vehicle, Not Destination

So back to that question from inside a prison: “How do I know which one?”

Religions and denominational labels have come about for legitimate, well-intentioned reasons. They’re structures designed to help us pursue relationship with God. They provide community, teaching, accountability, and support.

But try as they might, they’re run by fallible human beings. Some of you have had bad experiences with a specific church or person who claimed to be a believer. That’s real, and I’m not dismissing it.

What I am saying is this: Don’t equate the vehicle with your designed destination.

The goal is relationship with God. Religion, at its best, supports and nurtures that goal. At its worst, it obscures it. Your role is to find structures and communities that genuinely help you pursue God, not systems that replace Him with rules and performance.

Start with the relationship. Respond to God first. Then figure out which community and structure best support your journey.

Ordinary People

Here’s something that should encourage you: In the Bible, God always worked with ordinary people (Acts 4:13) like you and me.

Moses had a speech impediment and a murder in his past. David was an adulterer who arranged his mistress’s husband’s death. Peter denied Jesus three times. Paul persecuted Christians before becoming Christianity’s greatest missionary. Thomas doubted. The woman at the well had five failed marriages. Rahab was a prostitute. Matthew was a corrupt tax collector.

Clearly these weren’t mythical superheroes. They were ordinary people—broken, flawed, struggling people—who responded to God’s invitation to relationship. And through that relationship, God did extraordinary things.

That’s what makes the spread of faith in Him even more profound and amazing. God doesn’t require your perfection. He desires your willingness.

The spread of Christianity stands as one of history’s most remarkable movements. In the first century, a small band of ordinary, deeply flawed people carried a message about a crucified Jewish carpenter throughout the mighty Roman Empire. They had no political power, no military force, no wealth or social standing. They faced brutal persecution, imprisonment, and martyrdom. Yet within three centuries, this unlikely movement had transformed the empire itself. Today, the once-invincible Roman Empire lies in ruins, its palaces and temples mere tourist attractions. But the faith those humble messengers spread has endured for two millennia, reaching every corner of the globe with billions of followers. The empire that crucified Jesus and martyred His followers crumbled into dust, while the message they died proclaiming continues to change lives worldwide—a testament to the power of truth carried by weak vessels.

That’s what you’re saying “yes” to. The question isn’t whether you're good enough, smart enough, or spiritual enough.

The question is: Are you willing?

The Highest Aim Revealed

We've cleared a lot of ground through these first three chapters:

Chapter 1 showed you that Christianity might not be what you thought—it’s not about moralism, rules, or cultural religion. It’s about relationship.

Chapter 2 established that the Bible is a trustworthy guide—historically reliable, carefully preserved, brilliantly logical and cohesive, pointing to one consistent message of God’s redemptive love.

Chapter 3 has clarified what God actually wants: not religious performance to earn favor, but relationship characterized by mercy and love as a response to grace already received.

Now we come to the question that changes everything:

If God made you for relationship with Him, what does that actually mean? What were you designed for? What does “loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind” look like in practice?

The answer starts with understanding your original design.

You weren’t created as an accident or a cosmic fluke. You weren’t designed to simply exist, follow rules, die, and hope for the best. You were made with intention, purpose—made for something more than you’ve ever imagined.

Before we can understand what went wrong, we need to understand what “right” looks like first. We need to see the blueprint. We need to understand the original design and purpose. That’s where we’ll go next.